I wish I could send this to you. I wish I could fall asleep to anything else but the thought of you. The beautiful way you snuck out of class to put a note in my locker just to see me smile when I open it. The way your eyes resemble your puppy’s eyes, so black and shiny. And you would give me this look. You would use them against me to get what you want because you knew they were my weakness. The way you laugh. Not your normal laugh that everybody else hears. But the laugh you had when we were alone. The uncontrollable laugh when you couldn’t help yourself at the sight of somebody doing something stupid and reckless. The way you always told me “We should do that together one day.” The way you dreamed bigger than anyone I’ve ever met, but you didn’t want to achieve those dreams unless I was there with you. The way you smiled. You hated your smile. But every single hamartia you think you had, was everything I loved most about you. I wish I could fall asleep to anything else but the thought of the way I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life.
I can’t even fall asleep to those thoughts anymore. Instead I stay up til 2am every night just waiting for the moment my thoughts of you are bound to surface. The moment I know your thoughts of me are doing the same.
…I miss you so much.
he was her only sense of comfort, a place where she could express her emotions, somewhere where she could pour her heart into.
but one day that stopped, and he took all of the heart that she poured into him, and threw it in the trash.
so without a heart, it wasn’t too hard for the girl, to look herself in the mirror, and call herself ugly. to look at her scars on her wrists, and call herself weak. to look at the bottle full of pills, and call them paradise. e.h.